twenty2 : Taken For Granted

Turned off my tube-light, switching to the yellow filament bulb , set up my speaker in front of me and got “The Best of Prateek Kuhad” playing in the background just to feel like a writer from a movie who’s just got his block lifted.
Think: the sequence where the entire film’s tone changes and uplifts itself, with music that starts to instil hope and the lost protagonist sits down with his type writer, which though dusty, has now found its purpose, ready to start all over again. He types away into abyss, not bothered by the world’s happenings, for he’s found true love once again in a world of short-term relationships. And this is that moment for me as I write this.

I turned a year older this January and one of the first calls I got was from my wonderfully pot-bellied grandfather who believes that out of everyone in the family I will be the one that continues what he has cemented himself in – Writing.
He wanted me to write at least once in two-three months and he’s been requesting me to do this since the past 10 calls, over the past 10 months. But this time was different, because in that moment something came from within and I immediately wanted to end the call, sit down with my laptop and write for him. Surprisingly enough I knew what I wanted to write about too, and it was this exact calling that had come – Wanting to do something for the ones whom I’ve taken for granted.

So here’s a little insight on me – I love making any friend I make, my best friend. What I mean by that is that I love listening to people’s journeys, their stories because from whatever little I’ve been able to see until now, I don’t think enough people listen as much as they want to be heard.
So this little super-power allows me to understand where a person comes from, why they say what they do and not judge them willy nilly.

So how does this aspect make my relationship different than anyone else’s?
The answer is simple – it makes you value your relationship above the social status that it has.

And now if you didn’t understand the answer, then that’s alright I will explain another time, but if you did get it, then you know how great it is to have that.

Coming back to the point I was trying to make, this insight is indeed a power that comes with a word that I’ve disassociated myself from for quite some time now and that is Responsibility. (Fans of Spider-Man , you got that didn’t you? )

I think having the ability to know someone’s most valued aspects of their lives, is a matter of privilege and the highest form of trust you can garner from them which inadvertently means that you have the automatic duty to be responsible with this.
And what does that mean? It means to be able to remember and acknowledge that this person has trusted you ever so often, and when the times have changed and you’ve made newer friends, met newer people, heard newer stories, you’ve not left them. And that’s the mistake I had been constantly making. While I heard a lot of stories, and really valued and remembered each one, with every new story I’d leave the old ones behind in my mind, along with the respective relationship, not acknowledging their existence for prolonged periods of time. What this in-turn translates to is the person feeling a subtle breach of trust, feeling insecure about trusting you as much as they did before ever again thereby keeping you at a distance if, at any point you did decided to acknowledge their existence. So in short, I’m sugar-coating the process of being selfish.

If you’ve been here, in this spot I’m talking about, it means two things. One, that you’re a good friend but two, you’re not as mature as you think. While I think that is true, you should remember that there’s a secret third learning too and that’s – you’re human. No, it doesn’t mean you’re good and you can carry on with that flaw.
If you don’t already know, being human means that you’re bound to make mistakes and also means, that you can in-fact redeem yourself in your own eyes. So how do we do that?

Start acknowledging those whom you’ve stopped acknowledging.

“But it will be awkward, and they’ll be upset and they won’t forgive me.” That’s what I had always thought too. But turns out, they’re human too. And humans are still complex, like you, dear reader.

We can’t ensure everything in our lives go a certain way, I’m sure you’ve learnt that by now, somehow, somewhere, but that doesn’t mean what happened instead was bad for you. Things still worked out fine and you still have time to read this piece.
So what I’m trying to say is that being human, your job would be to try, to face that awkward moment with the person you’ve unknowingly hurt, and keep at it and be patient with it. Take every shot you can in the dark to do what you think is right in terms of mending your relationship with that person and getting it back to where it was and where it should’ve rightly been so if you hadn’t messed it up.

The Results?
I’m twenty-two today. I’ll tell you when I’m twenty-three.

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“twenty2” is a segment which comes in the same month that I turned twenty two, acknowledging the mistakes and flaws I have. Maybe redeem myself slowly even? But acknowledgment is the purpose.